Radical Acceptance

I was reminded once again, during a most lovely yoga retreat at Holistic Yoga School a few weekends ago, of the power of my breath. Through vigorous asana practices, mindful, meditative walks and pranayama exercises, I was reminded to draw attention to my breath: to the inhales and exhales, to the depth and to the messages of my mind as I became one in this sweet cadence. The more I began to pay attention to my breath – to this life-force within me – the more I became aware of the present moment. As my mind tried to tug away my attention towards dinner plans, grocery lists and my work schedule the next week, my breath returned me to the moment – to what was actually in front of me, at that moment, and nothing else.

As an anxious person of sorts, I have grown accustomed to entertaining the millions of thoughts that enter my mind in a yoga practice: the worries, fears, regrets or anticipations. During these moments, I am far away from my breath and from the reality of what is transpiring right in front of me. If I chose to really be present, and to use my breathe as a catalyst for fully acknowledging and accepting the present moment, I would be forced, like many others, to just be. Just being present invites any number of sensations and requires an innate strength, vastly different from muscling through backbends and handstands. It is a strength that requires us to fully acknowledge the present moment and to accept it radically.

On our yoga mats, we experience this strength when we acknowledge our tight thighs and simply breath into them. Instead of wondering why they are so tight and wishing that they would limberly move like the lithe yogini standing next to us, we simply accept. We accept that our hamstrings are tight today and create no stories, regrets or anticipations about our tight muscles. In a similar vein, we draw upon the strength of our breath when we notice our agitated minds during a meditative practice. Perhaps our mind is wandering more than we would like and our hips feel sore from sitting too long. Instead of wishing our bodies, minds and spirits were in a different space, we can radically accept that today is what it is: our minds are a little clustered, our anxiety a little higher and our hips a little more sore. It is what it is.

When we enter the world beyond our yoga practice, we find also plentiful moments to breathe and to radically accept. Perhaps we find ourselves stuck in a traffic jam on the way to an office meeting, and late once again. Instead of growing frustrated and wishing that we had left five minutes earlier or taken a different route, we can breathe. We can accept the current situation as it is, and know that it too shall pass. Other moments to cultivate inner strength and practice our breathing are found in difficult conversations, loss and expectant moments. Regardless of the situation, we are never without our breathe and never without the opportunity to embrace the present moment. Part of what makes radical acceptance tricky is that doing so requires a relinquishing of control – of wanting things to be a certain way. In order to accept the present moment, we need not like or even approve the reality, but instead trust that it is exactly as it should be. By doing so, we are practicing yoga at the deepest, most profound level.